In the wise words of Holly Fail last night: "Every day's a good day; some are just hard good days." The past two days have been hard good days. I finished speaking at Frontier Ranch Friday night, then gave a little send-off Saturday morning. Said good-bye to FR (classic was to Chris/Chops: "I don't want to say good-bye to you!", so he just walks away. Oops. I had to explain that I was just prolonging the inevitable, not not wanting to say good-bye)...went out to bagels with Amanda, Jer and Care, Lola and Jojo...finished packing up my room and the car...drank lemonade while next door neighbor Daniel figured out how to make my NEW EBAY BIKE RACK WORK (!), and then drove out of 210 Weible Drive with tears streaming down my face. WHY is it so hard to leave? Why am I doing this? Why am I having such a hard time with it? I thought by now that I'd be like wa-hoo, take me to Seattle, baby, to do Young Life and love kids and serve Jesus FOREVER....and even though I catch glimpses of the good, I feel more confused than ever as to what the hell I'm even doing and why I'm even leaving.
So it was a hard good day. But there were funnies to it: Amanda Susanne Nelson. Losing an entire bike tire on the freeway (not just the wheel...wait, is it the other way around? Regardless, I probably caused an 18 car pile-up on the 680 due to the need to speed my beach cruiser in Auburn). Amanda's total remorse over her roadkill squirrel yesterday. Receiving a two-minute flip-off while talking to Hollie W. somewhere near Shasta. Holly Ann last night. Making my parents follow me while doing 80. Hee hee. Seeing The Wedding Crashers tonite with some cute new roomies. Walking around Greenlake. Talking to the Anna's and the Aaron's and the Joshy's up here whom I can't wait to see.
And I go to the YL office tomorrow around, mmm, 9ish, 10ish, to begin my new life. That will be good. It might be another hard good day - and there will be many more hard good days - but in more wise words of wisdom (this time from C. Gothie): "no decision is ever a bad decision...no time is ever wasted...the Lord's going to USE each and every place and opportunity." And if that means serving and growing in WA for a couple of YEARS or a couple of DECADES, it's going to be good. Hard good days are good to have. They just suck in the moment. Bear with me. Thanks friends. c.