Saturday, October 01, 2005
All right, a few thoughts. First, I'm a judgmental fool. I know that some Washingtonians wear socks with their sandals...I know I slightly have issues with that, though I'm ignorant to seeing my own "socks with sandals" plank in the eye. Hmm.
Today was another blessing of a day; first, after a fun sleepover with Anna-friend (whose husband Joe was out of town), I drove out to Woodinville to Josh and Brenda's for an MFB adventure. To World Market Josh and I drove, and picked up this: my first bed! I continued to be amazed by the situation as a whole: first, I've been BLESSED with extremely low rent in the new housing sitch down in Auburn, so I'm able to start purchasing some of those "firsts" that I've never had before, like a BED! Then, it continues to amaze me just that the Lord would place in my path and in my life the people that I need right here, right now. It was good talking to Josh about LIFE in general...it's good talking about faith vs. fear. What's the balance between the two? How can I be real about my faith without overdoing it to others who don't believe the same that I do? What's the balance between respecting one's beliefs and desiring to spend ETERNITY with them? Why does FEAR drive me so much sometimes? Why is it so much easier for me to talk to a 13 year old about Jesus than one of my own peers, especially those ones that I have deeply established relationships with? I loved having the convo with Josh and then reading Rob's blog which centered much around that subject...maybe not with as many questions as statements persay, but still good in thinking about faith and fear.
My last thought on this subject is simply this: once I was helping lead and simultaneously speak at a backpacking trip through Kidder Creek. The whole week we talked about 1 John...how we are children of God...how we have nothing to fear...on the way out of the Klamath forest, one young high school girl said that she had had an epiphany of sorts in her beliefs. She came into the week sick of "religion," sick of doing what she was supposed to do and believing what she was supposed to believe. "Fear is not a factor in faith," she finally said. I couldn't get over her profoundly simple statement, yet I can't quite grasp it as much as I'd like to. I'd like to be fearLESS here in Washington, as I step out in this Young Life adventure, yet fear plagues me so much sometimes that I just yearn for the comfort of California. It's a weird balance between the two. Is this what transition's all about?
Finally, many of you have been asking about the upcoming living sitch, so here it is: I'll be moving to Auburn next Saturday, the 8th. (Seattle friends: wanna take a half hour road trip?). I'll be living in the basement apartment of the Koontz family, who are "friends of Young Life." They have three girls, two of which are in college, and then Christy, their youngest, is a senior who's going to help me with Campaigners this year. They have been absolute CHEERLEADERS in this new adventure, and they're actually the family I stayed with when I came up to interview in April. The house itself is in the middle of suburbia, which isn't my personal FAVE, but it's more than perfect for where I'm at right now: all of my Campaigner girls live right there, along with half the 14 and under population of Auburn. (aka: my new peeps). The place has a separate entrance and its own bathroom and kitchen....they're cutting me a deal and I'm going to be able to put some extra money down on school and car loans and other such spending "necessities." This will be the first time to live on my own (though the family is upstairs), so I'm both excited and nervous....it'll be a good "growing" experience, or so I keep telling myself. :)
There are going to be a lot of "my first's" this year...sometimes I don't really know what to think of it all because the last thing I want (or so I think...) is to be tied down and domesticated. And then I talk about wanting a dog....there's that plank again. Again. Again.