I'm a dog. I love to walk! it's my favorite thing! So yesterday my master [ahem...] and I are out strolling through the neighborhoods of San Mateo. I've just relieved myself for the 3rd time that walk, and have I mentioned that I love to take a crap? I love it! We get to a stop light, and master mac gives her regular menacing command: "SIT." I don't know why she makes me sit at stop lights, but to appease her need for a power trip every once in a while, I oblige. Suddenly a nice lady comes up to us. I'm scared at first, although that's what I put off for the masses initially: FEAR. It's part of my Mr. Darcy bag o' tricks. But within 3 seconds I've decided that I'd like to make a new friend, so up my hiney goes to say hello to this little lady. "Sit down," my master growls, and the nice little lady looks at me and chuckles: "yes, shit down. Shit down." ho ho ho/chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. "Shit down, shit down."
We are now walking across the street, with our new friend to the left - chuckle, chuckle, and my master now chuckle, chuckling herself. What's so funny? But hey - we're walking. I love walking! I'm so good at it. my favorite thing! We depart from our new friend - ohhh, humans are so nice. I love humans! - and though I want to stop and smell, er, pee on the roses, we've picked up the pace. Why master, why? I want to walk fast and fierce and long. I'm a good walker, I am, I am! But faster we go. Does my master have to go potty too? Is that why she's tripping over the branches on the ground and nearly dragging her bag behind her? I betcha she wishes she were a dog so she too could just shit down on the side of the road.
yes she did.
yes she did.