we started tutoring up again yesterday again, and i was immediately paired up with this cute little latina girl, a sophomore that we'll call gloria. we spent the afternoon working on her _of mice and men_ essay, and then agreed to meet up this afternoon with mango fro yo in hand. (yes, i bribe for educational purposes).
well of course, what tutor would make a child who'd already sat in school for 7 hours that day not take a break and eat her drippy frozen yogurt on a wednesday afternoon?
so we sat. and then she broke the ice.
[note: i'm not used to kids asking ME questions until we've hung out for months. that's my job ...isn't it?]
"so do you like being married?" she asked me.
"absolutely!" how do you explain to a 15-year-old girl how wonderful it is to have your biggest fan there at the end of the day, cheering you on, your best friend to hang out and just do life with?
but still, I told her just that, and let her in on what a wednesday evening at our house would look like: i'll cook dinner, then we'll eat together and he'll clean up. we'll watch glee from last night and just hang out!
it sounded completely normal to me.
gloria: "you mean, you're like one of those families on TV? you're going to eat at the same table and cuddle together and stuff?"
Um. er. no. uh..... but to this young girl, the only picture of stability, of a loving family, of eating dinner together, of sharing responsibilities, of cuddling together, is only a faraway Disney picture she's seen on television.
My heart broke at that moment. i wanted to tell her - in the middle of the public high school's library, mind you - that she CAN have this, that this IS an option. There is something so much greater that God has for her, and for her future....
Yet my words rightfully are guised by respecting the boundaries of church and state. Still my heart breaks, and secretly i want and desire for her to stay in the group home so she can keep going to this high school, and i can keep seeing her afterschool for tutoring times and eventually be able to tell her such truth over jamba juice one afternoon.
but i have to trust that even if the courts do allow her to move back in with her family (and yes, please...) that this nugget of truth that she saw and experienced these two afternoons will stay with her. it's not up to me, but sometimes I wish i could rescue these young friends who have seen no such hope except that which the boob tube transmits over the air waves.